Mock Duck

New Blog

I've been messing around with a new blog. For a sneak preview go here. I still have a lot to do to it and need to add my links etc but just to warn that I may start updating the new one rather than this one from now on if you all want to start checking out that one instead.

Let me know what you think! (Preferably on the new one.)

The Long and the Short of it: part two

Remember my two-sided umbrella invention - to enable a tall person and a short person to share an umbrella in the rain?

Well I've come up with another one.

The Geek is a good foot taller than me. (With the unfortunate effect that most photos of us together make him look like some kind of child abuser, with me barely managing to peek over the bottom of the frame.)

The umbrella situation is the least of our problems.

I always like to sleep with a nice warm body and cold head and feet - preferably poking out the end. Whereas the Geek likes warm feet. Any duvet that covers the whole of him - drowns me, and any duvet I'm happy with leaves him with a length of freezing foot and ankle. Another unrelated problem is that he is just TOTALLY UNREASONABLE and in the night will regularly turn over, taking the entire duvet with him, somehow managing to wedge it under thoroughly under his slumbering body as he does so like some massive vegan sausage roll.

On Dragon's Den a couple presented an idea to cure this problem: a sheet with a line down the middle. The dragons were not impressed and i have to admit, neither was I. Who is going to take any notice of that unless it works like an electric fence - issuing a nasty shock to anyone who dares to stray as much as a toe over onto the wrong side...(not such a bad idea, now I think about it.)

Behold my latest invention: the tall person/short person duvet.

Picture it now. A duvet perfectly designed for...oh someone like me. But with velcro detachable foot warmers at the end for...oh someone like him. Like oven gloves. Or a tea cosy.

Think about it - the market potential must be massive! And the foot-warmers (being detachable) could generate all the profit. They could become fashion items - like handbags and shoes - constantly turning over different designs and new materials. You could have different ones for every day of the week. StarWars footwarmers. Footwarmers in the shape of David Beckham - or Pamela Anderson. Waterproof footwarmers. Footwarmers with hot water bottle attachments. The sky's the limit.

But this doesn't solve the other problem, I hear you cry. Aha -but i have an idea for this also.

As well as the velcro-detachable footwarmers, my specially-designed duvet would have two holes in it - right in the middle, one at the top, one at the bottom, through which would be driven two specially designed stakes.

No-one's sausage-rolling with my duvet. Oh no.

I'm Enjoying...

Watching: The Flight of the Concordes, US presidential debates

The former is the only thing I have ever booked to see in the Edinburgh Fringe and promptly lost the tickets for so I've never seen them live. If anyone hasn't seen it yet please look it out - it's just genius understated stuff about a crap New Zealand band (with songs) plus their painfully upbeat manager.

US Presidential debates. Bizarrely compelling ritual. And great entertainment to boot. What can I say? Obama comes across very impressively. And I've learned that John McCain's a "maverick". Maverick. Maverick. Maverick. And just in case you didn't get that the first time - maver-

Reading: The Wisdom of Whores by Elizabeth Pisani

Ok, this sounds factual miserable and dry. It is anything but (well obviously there are depressing parts but this is still not a miserable read). It has had me riveted for the past couple of weeks. I have taken it on planes and to hotels...I will write more about this for VL at some point but that's my "fun reading " of the moment.

Doing: Playing badminton.

I haven't done this since I was a kid but I've started to go with the Geek's work colleagues. Of course playing against a load of geeks is quite motivating. I immediately feel pumped to the gills with testosterone and start high-fiving and "yeahing" all over the place and generally embarrassing myself. But it's just as fun as it used to be. I wonder why I forget about things I enjoyed as a kid.

Just three things from me to get us started (if anyone is still there after my extended hiatus recently).

What are you enjoying at the moment? (And no penguins or punching please - let's leave that for another day.)